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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26668513">God is Dead</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/infernalstars/pseuds/infernalstars'>infernalstars</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Raven Neil [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>All For The Game - Nora Sakavic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Andrew Minyard Has Feelings, M/M, Protective Neil Josten, Raven!Neil, andrew minyard is healing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:29:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>830</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26668513</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/infernalstars/pseuds/infernalstars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>God could not touch him, control him, hurt him. He was safe. The Foxhole Court was the Garden of Eden. He would not let himself be Eve and fall for the lies his brain fed him. He was safe here with Andrew.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Raven Neil [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1940422</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>God is Dead</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>trigger warning for references to past (canon) rape, nothing explicit </p><p>also its weirdly poetic, and written mainly at three am</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Neil has met god, he is unkind, unjust, unfair. He has a tattoo on his cheek, a number. One. They called him King. </p><p>His gravestone doesn’t even acknowledge that he was beloved. It says nothing. Just a date.</p><p>God is not kind. He is cruel. He kicks and punches and whips you to silence. He tests you to shape you to his will, to his every need. </p><p>God is not just. Not fair. He is a tyrant. </p><p>His name is Riko Moriyama. King. God. Number One. </p><p>Most importantly: dead. </p><p>Neil sits in front of the grave. He’s shaking too much to stand. He stares at the words. He’d tempted to dig up the tomb and ensure there’s a body in there. He’d seen it himself hit he’s so unsure. </p><p>He has to be sure. </p><p>His eyes flicker to the rising sun. Someone will realize he’s missing soon. </p><p>He wonders if Andrew will be mad. If he will hate him for running. He wasn’t running away, he was running to. </p><p>He had to know. </p><p>At least he took his phone. He left behind his duffle bag. Andrew will know. Understand.</p><p>Neil reaches up, scratching at the number on his cheek. </p><p>He wanted to carve it off of him. He left sick. He scratched until the skin tore. He hissed in pain. He only stopped when his phone buzzed.</p><p>He was surprised to see Matt’s name.</p><p>“Hello?” </p><p>“Neil. Where’d you go?”</p><p>He hesitated. “Riko’s grave.”</p><p>“How far—“</p><p>“Six hours when you’re hitch hiking.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Nightmare. Is Andrew—“</p><p>“He had a nightmare and you aren’t there. He’s with Bee.”</p><p>“He’s with...fuck,” Neil said quietly, getting  to his feet. “Um, I’ll get a bus ticket. I’ll be back soon. Tell them to call me if they need me.”</p><p>Neil hung up and hurried back to the main road. </p><p>-</p><p>He arrived back at the school after noon. He rushed up to the fourth floor and found it totally vacant. </p><p>He ran back down and took off for the stadium. He opened up the doors to the locker room, making his way through the orange halls to get to the stadium. He paused when he saw Andrew and Bee in the lounge. </p><p>Andrew had his arms crossed over his chest. He was pouting, yes pouting. </p><p>“Neil,” Bee greats. She had a smile on her lips. </p><p>He heard shouting from the court. He ignored it, ignored Bee. “Andrew?”</p><p>“You weren’t there.”</p><p>His heart shattered into a million pieces. He sounded so hurt. </p><p>“I wasn’t. I went to Riko’s grave,” he said quietly. </p><p>Andrew’s head snapped up. “Why?”</p><p>“I needed to make sure...I couldn’t sleep without being sure.”</p><p>“You didn’t sleep last night?” </p><p>Neil shook his head. “I had to make sure we were safe.” </p><p>“I had a nightmare,” Andrew said. “It was him.” </p><p>Neil looked at Bee who was quietly observing. He looked back to Andrew. </p><p>“And you called Bee. That really big--” </p><p>“No. Nicky had to,” Andrew said, looking away from him. Shame? Guilt? </p><p>“After his dream you weren’t there. He thought you left him. In his panic--” </p><p>“I told you I would stay.” </p><p>Andrew just blinked. He didn’t react. </p><p>Andrew has met Lucifer. An angel wrapped in sin. He wanted Andrew to beg for Mercy. Mercy that he’d never give. Even from hell, Lucifer still holds power over him. </p><p>He left him to the wolves and plummeted to the fiery pit below, waiting and waiting for the day when Andrew’s sins sent him tumbling down, down, down. Andrew would never be free from the wrath of hell. </p><p>Lucifer was three things. Wicked. Manipulative. </p><p>Most importantly: Dead.</p><p>“Andrew,” Neil said, kneeling in front of him, forcing Andrew to look at him. “Hey. Honey, I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.”</p><p>“I hate when you call me that.” </p><p>“No you don’t,” he said softly.</p><p>Andrew’s face darkened with a blush. “Yeah, I know.” </p><p>Neil smiled a bit. “I am sorry that I wasn’t there.” </p><p>“I hate apologies.” </p><p>Neil nodded, shrugged. “I know. I’m still sorry. Yes or no?” </p><p>Andrew looked at him. “Yes.” </p><p>Neil reached out for his hand and kissed his knuckles. “Riko’s dead. He is too. We’re gonna be okay.”</p><p>“No, we won’t,” Andrew said. “You’ll always worry if he’s really gone. I’ll always be haunted.” </p><p>God died. Lucifer haunted. </p><p>Neil sat on the couch next to him, still holding his hand. He didn’t let go. </p><p>They’d both been tested by divine wrath. Pushed to the breaking point. Neil wasn’t giving up what he’d manage to get as a result. He couldn’t. </p><p>That meant they’d win. He slowly leaned over, putting his head on Andrew’s shoulder. He inhaled slowly, letting himself relax. He exhaled. </p><p>God could not touch him, control him, hurt him. He was safe. The Foxhole Court was the Garden of Eden. He would not let himself be Eve and fall for the lies his brain fed him. He was safe here with Andrew. </p><p>As long as they had each other.</p>
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